That feeling of longing. That aching in your chest. That pining in your heart.
When there's something you want more than anything, or something you've been waiting for your whole life, and you don't understand why you don't have it yet.
When it's so hard to trust that God's timing is perfect. That good things come to those who wait. That God has a plan that's far more wonderful than yours.
When it's so hard to be patient as you wait for that plan to unfold. When you just wish that God would magically make something happen with the flick of a wand in the blink of an eye. So that you can have that something right now.
But you have to wait.
And waiting is hard.
I'm in a season of waiting right now, friends. And it's not the first time I've been in a season of waiting. In fact, I've been in a continual season of waiting for about a year and a half now, and it's been quite a ride.
When I look back how I was when this season of waiting first began, I can see how much I've changed and grown. I used to be so much more impatient, so much more frantic. Trusting in God was such a burden and a struggle, and I had to try with all my strength to do it.
I used to focus only on what I wanted, begging God to give it to me. I listened only to the desperate longings in my heart for what I thought I wanted, and I acted and prayed out of impatience.
But I have learned and grown since then. When my longings burned strong, I started to consciously choose God over what I wanted. I prayed my way to trusting him more and to truly surrendering my life to him. To desiring his plan instead of mine.
I have learned and grown even more since then. I went on my pilgrimage to Europe this summer and came home a changed person. I can still sense the fruits of that pilgrimage now, two months later. I can sense how deeply God changed me and molded me, and how the change is here to stay.
One thing I learned on the pilgrimage more deeply than I have ever learned it before is the importance of living in the moment. Of being content with my present circumstances. Of being at peace with how my life as it is right now. Of trusting in God for each next step, instead of worrying and over-planning and fretting.
So the way I'm handling my season of waiting right now is much different now. It's much more mature. It's much more peaceful.
Yet I still find myself struggling. Sometimes I feel myself growing frustrated or frantic or impatient. Especially when it feels like God is dangling a toy that I really want right in front of my face, and I try to grab it but it's just out of my reach.
That's the kind of season of waiting I'm in right now, friends, and it's really hard. I'm sure you can relate, with whatever season of waiting you might be in.
But I want you (and me) to always remember that God has it all under control. That he has a plan for our lives that's far better than anything we can imagine. That he has a purpose for everything, even if that purpose is unknown to us or doesn't seem to make sense.
I want you (and me) to always remember that God loves us infinitely and unconditionally. That all the time he is good and faithful. That he has a reason for our season of waiting right now, and that he will eventually, when we are ready and when the time is right, satisfy the desires of our hearts ~ and it will be beautiful.
So in the meantime, let's seek him first. Let's love him above everyone and everything else. Let's cling to him and continually surrender our lives and desires to him. Let's persevere in prayer. And he will not disappoint us.